Those who are partners with someone who is homophobic are not allies to the LGBTQ community. People tend to reflect their partner’s views and are influenced heavily by whom they hang out with.
Being in a relationship with a homophobic person makes it hard for the other to enter open-minded spaces or help enact real change. Someone’s partner in this situation can control who a person’s friends are and how they support them.
Imagine not being able to go to a friend’s wedding because of their sexual orientation. You cannot be in support of people who you do not respect. By having a partner with homophobic views, you are part of a larger problem.
If partners are not courageous enough to teach the ways of acceptance in their relationships, they should ask themselves what conversations need to be had.
Some may say, then why marry an intolerant person? Sometimes people rush into relationships and avoid sensitive but important topics like intolerance. Homophobia subtly plagues our society, and it needs to stop.
Things like this should be discussed between partners. Avoiding these conversations is a recipe for toxic relationship dynamics and perpetuating harmful beliefs.
There are some things that people cannot change about themselves, but it should never make them any less deserving of respect.
A recent example of this is pop singer Billie Eilish’s relationship with a man who exhibited subtle homophobia online. Members and allies of the LGBTQ community called her out on not being an ally for not speaking up. Eilish’s boyfriend, Matthew Tyler Vorce, posted discriminatory and homophobic slurs online years ago which was upsetting to fans who thought Eilish was an ally of the LGBTQ+ community.
“In the tweets, Matthew seemingly made racist remarks about Asian people, uses the N-word, uses gay slurs, and makes both sexist and fat phobic comments,” an article by Centennial said.
Vorce has since apologized, but only after coming under fire on social media. It would have been more sincere to address his remarks proactively, rather than after people found them.
Calling out homophobia and having sensitive conversations about tolerance is essential for a healthy relationship. If you don’t stand up for those who are part of the LGBTQ+ community behind closed doors, then how are you an ally?
