A scofflaw’s guide to parking: Park anywhere, fight the law and win

I’m not an attorney and therefore cannot dispense legal advice. However, with an extensive record of lawfully evading traffic conviction, I feel qualified to conjecture upon the subject.

I am not a careful driver, yet my record is spotless and insurance rates rock bottom. How did I attain this exalted driving status, one may ask? Frivolous litigation.

Everyone has been in a hurry with nowhere to park. And a beautiful staff parking spot is open.

A student worker could think, “I contribute to this institution, shouldn’t I be considered staff?” Or perhaps a driver does not see a faded road marking.

With fewer student spots, more staff spots, Gold Line commuters and more permits sold, the harried commuter has few options.

One way parkers can tilt the balance is by pressing their rights and appealing the citation. The appeal process is lengthy, but it benefits the accused.

By using these tips, which only require time and persistence, there’s no reason a student should pay a Citrus College parking fine or many other traffic fines again.

1. Never admit to the violation. If drivers admit to going one mile per hour over the limit, they can be found guilty. Don’t be found guilty.

2. Be forgettable. Enforcing officers may be compelled to testify in a hearing or trial. If an officer cannot recall a suspect, the case may be dismissed. Consider changing appearance before trial.

3. Stall for time. The longer proceedings drag out, the more costly they become, and more likely they are to be dismissed. File for an extension online.

4. Research and write. Investigate the violation on the ticket. Read the California Vehicle Code carefully. Parking rules have exceptions. Was there an emergency that may have caused a person to park in a spot they should not have?

5. Write a thoughtful excuse letter to the parking agency. Explain an error in the ticket. Avoid blaming officers, which may aggravate the commissioner reading it.

A ticket could be dismissed if the letter provides credentials or experience in the matter discussed or if research is conducted.

If all this hasn’t worked, it’s time to get ready for trial. The process can be tricky.

Get necessary paperwork together. Prepare a defend in front of a knowledgeable judge. Memorize what to say and be ready to think fast under pressure. Always be respectful in court.

At Citrus, third-party mediators evaluate claims first. Mediation is good practice for court. Arrive on time, know what to say and present information sincerely. If a mediator thinks the accused is serious, they may side with them. Parking officials don’t want to deal with the headache either.

If mediation goes unfavorably, it’s time to go to the West Covina Courthouse.

File a trial by written declaration similar to the letter. If the declaration loses, defendants may request a trial de novo (Latin for new trial). The new trial must take place in person in front of a commissioner.

The trial is usually the last chance.

The most effective way to have a ticket dismissed is to file a discovery motion. In trials, parties are entitled to know what evidence their oppo- nent has.

In traffic cases, defendants must first file a notice of informal discovery to the police department and to the judge’s Clerk. Officers almost never respond to discovery in traffic cases because it happens so infrequently.

If an officer cannot present evidence at trial, he or she must rely on their recollection. By the time an appeal reaches the Citrus Municipal Court at the West Covina Courthouse, several months will have passed. Any issuing parking attendant will likely have forgotten the ticket.

Officers file dozens or even hundreds of traffic cases a month. The probability they will recall a particular case is low, particularly if the experience was forgettable.

If the officer still shows after all the paperwork, he or she must testify.

A traffic suspect is allowed to cross-examine an officer and his or her recollection without the aid of notes. Officers may try to sneak their notes onto the witness stand. Object to this practice and the judge will prevent the officer from using notes.

If an officer cannot produce memories of the violation, their testimony is invalid, and a ticket may be dismissed.

Traffic and parking can be so frustrating, they are offensive to one’s sense of freedom as an American. Exorbitant ticket pricing is a major revenue stream for municipalities. Targeting stressed drivers is unjust. Recall the memory of Henry David Thoreau who said violating unfair laws is an moral imperative.

Sure, scofflaw proclivities have earned me the unavoidable ticket, but considering all the violations I haven’t paid for, the savings is tremendous.

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